Finding Strength (Like Hercules, Minus the Whole Actual Superhuman Strength)


This past year has been amazing. Incredible. Really stressful. Exhausting,.. I just lost my train of thought as my husband asked where the English Muffins are. Bread Box! Look in the bread box! Though I guess they really are not a bread. Maybe? Honestly I do not know but they are delicious and my husband makes awesome breakfasts. Not always the most HEALTHY breakfasts, but still phenomenal. I feel like this is just a blog of adjectives and verbs at this point.

Lets start over…I have lost my focus. Not just in the sense of this blog post though it is fitting. In the sense of life. I feel like I have just been bouncing between waves, getting drained, when I could be swimming to my own island paradise. Instead I am just floating aimlessly when seriously the island is RIGHT OVER THERE. I CAN SEE IT. Why don’t I swim? I feel like I get distracted by something shiny like a damn bird. The problem with me is if I don’t have a goal, a focus, I get depressed. I need ANYTHING to help in keeping my attention on the end goal. Whether that be a physical goal, emotional goal, a job goal, I thrive better when I have goals. My weight has been pretty consistent around 202-209 since last year and that really has got to stop. I feel like my life has almost gotten stagnant and I have lost that sense of wonder and adventure that I once had. Bitter and frustrated Cassy is no fun. I feel like my brain is in a foggy zone. So I am reaching out to my blog, to other people that may be suffering, feeling alone and directionless. Maybe we can latch on and swim to the island together! (I’ll share, promise).

moving forward

So I am starting with goals. Starting here with this poor neglected blog (don’t mind the cobwebs). I am going to write 3x a week. Whether people read it or not. Whether I get a standing ovation or just silence (no in between!). I need a place to get my feelings out and reflect.

Have the number on the scale go down. Goal is to get below 200 in 3 weeks.

Run 3x a week. I am doing the couch to 5K in hopes of doing a run by the end of October. Anyone else with me?! I could use a running buddy.

Be more optimistic and adventurous. Try a little harder not to think about all the negatives that can happen but see the positives.

I am ready to go the distance. Just like Hercules.

Though hopefully my monsters are more imaginary than real life.


Uh, Yo December Can You Please Slow Down?


December is FLYING. What is this? Only a week and a half until Christmas and I feel totally and absolutely unprepared. Normally by now I would have most of my baking done, gifts bought, cards sent, the whole sha-bang. I don’t even have the tree decorated! I definitely wish I could take a pause button so I can spend some time just getting crap taken care of… this working full time business, riding my horse, and working out 3x a week really takes chunks out of my schedule. I feel like since moving to Colorado I have been on permanent flash forward without being able to take a second to just enjoy everything. I feel like once I am fully decorated for Christmas, it will be long gone. :/ Any tips or tricks to get organized? I am looking at you!

In other words, getting back on the wagon has been progressing. I do admit I FAILED ABSOLUTELY MISERABLY over Thanksgiving (-cough7poundweightgainandwaterweightwhoocough-) but I quickly pulled in the reins and am settling down into a nice rhythm which I had definitely missed over the past year. We are making more meals at home, concentrating on having left overs, and discussing more openly about our goals and staying healthy.


One of the things I have been absolutely loving are turkey, hummus and avocado wraps that I can take into work. They are absolutely divine! I did not imagine liking something so much that is so simple.

So simple, so easy, so yum!

So simple, so easy, so yum!


All you need? Sliced Turkey Breast, Whatever Type of Hummus you want thinly spread on, and 1/2 an avocado. Enjoy this low calorie deliciousness lunch!

Get Off Me, Woman; I Don’t Want Your Cookies

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year… with holiday baking, and more holiday baking, and possibly some cheer? *clink coffee mug* I fucking love Christmas. Like it’s a serious thing. I love looking at Christmas lights. I love getting together and watching Holiday movies (Home Alone? The Santa Clause? National Lampoons Christmas Vacation? Can I get a w00t woot?!) I even LOVE baking Christmas cookies to give away (my gingerbread are to die for — seriously). The thing is I am trying not to eat a Christmas cookie every damn day. I have a plan, and I am trying super hard to stick with it. Like seriously hard. Like when I walk in the kitchen and see the cookies, I twitch a little. And then there is my mom and sister…

272You see, we moved with my mom and sister. I gave them a choice and they decided to follow us across country. We told them they could stay with us and pay rent until they learned their way around (which hasn’t been going so great but that’s a WHOLE other can of worms). Anyway, they LOVE sweets. Seriously. That is all they eat. They are one of those “vegetarians” that just eat sweets and simple carbs. I know what you are saying… educate them, do stuff with them… I DO. It just doesn’t matter what I say or do. So they have been making cookies. And then trying to get me to eat them. I politely said no, I just did not have it in my plan that day…. but they asked like 10 times (not exaggerating) and kept being pushy. What does it take for them to respect me and my choices?

By the end of the day, I was pretty much as frustrated as Michael Scott once he learned Toby was back. Come on people. I do not want your cookies. I know they are delicious. I have had numerous amounts of cookies in my life (Hello, I weighed over 260 pounds and that did not happen from eating broccoli). The thing is I need to remove myself from sweets for awhile so I no longer crave them. That’s just how my brain works… once I am over the 2 week hump, I will be better. I will have more self control. Right now, one cookie = a dozen cookies and I just cannot do that anymore. I am flushing all my hard work at the gym down the toilet and it is feeling like I am being slapped by toilet water every time I do. This cycle must end.

So what are your thoughts about Holiday YumYums and Dealing with People who Just want you to eat the Damn Cookies?!

Learning A Lot About Change…


I am a scheduler. I like to have structure and know exactly what I am going to do in a day. I loved being a student and knowing I had the flexibility to just go home to have a healthy lunch. Moving to Colorado has been wonderful but it has also been a HUGE change. Being near such wonderful family has kept our social calendar pretty full (and food temptations high). I have surpassed the 200 pound mark again, and I am finding it very hard to get back down below it… and I desperately want to get back to where I was before. I have been busting my ass in the gym at least 3x a week, plus I have been riding my horse. The only thing holding me back is what I have been eating, and how  much of it I have been eating.


Thanksgiving week I did not hold up to my goal. I drank wine. I was merry and happy and enjoyed every minute of it. I only ate one piece of pie… but gosh darn if those mashed potatoes aren’t delectable? So yes, I need to get my eating under control. My diet is the only thing holding me back. When I first started losing weight, I wasn’t very social for the first 2-3 months because I absolutely knew I could not handle temptations. I also had the flexibility of being at home more and preparing healthy meals. Now I work a full time job, see my horse pretty much every day, go to the gym 3x a week at night, and pretty much have pretty full weekends. What do you guys do to stay healthy on the go? I am starting to brain storm a lot of healthy crock pot ideas since I think that will be easier with our schedule. I would love to hear if you have any favorites.

In other news, I dyed my hair… RED. I have never done anything this drastic before but I really love it.

Omgosh I still can't get over it.

Omgosh I still can’t get over it.


Change is a good thing, but it definitely takes some planning when trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Goals This Week:

1. Track all I eat

2. Go a work out class at the gym besides just my personal training. Might be cool to try something new!

3. Do not eat out for any meals.


Lets make this week rock, shall we?

My Legs be Jello — My Ode to Leg Day


I dedicate this poem to all who have endured the pain known as LEG DAY.


Last night is the night most dreaded,

But the green lights seemed to know where I was headed,

With ease, I arrived, to discover in surprise,

That Leg Day was today — and my trainer meant it!


With 50 pound weights, I struggled,

To squat down lower, what a hassle!

If that wasn’t enough, he decided to go up,

To 70 pounds and 20 squats — oh, help!


But I did it, though my legs were shaking after four,

By ten, they were screaming no more!

Yet I pushed, and I groaned, and I made it through,

But that wasn’t close to the end, oh no!


He said it is time for leg presses!

Do not think for a second about resting.

I sighed and I pushed with all of my force,

’til I thought my knees would give up and die.


There was more after that, but it is starting to blur,

by that time walking was getting harder to endure,

We worked the inner and outer thighs until I wanted to cry,

and ended the night with 3 sets of jump squats — oh my!


The pain has not yet set in, but I am waiting,

By 5pm, I’ll be wishing,

That instead of Leg Day, I was home eating cake,

But hopefully in the end, it’ll be worth it!


Oh Hi Thanksgiving Week…


therighttimeLike I said this year has been crazy with change! With all the change, though, time has been seriously FLYING. In a blink of an eye, summer was gone. The next thing I know, there’s snow! Now in just a few days, everyone is going to be coming over to feast, laugh, and be thankful (at least, I hope they will be thankful). I definitely know how to pick a good week to restart blogging and getting into a more fit and active lifestyle. Why not pick one of the busiest times of the year?

The truth is when I first started on my weight loss journey was 2 weeks before Christmas, and I figured if I could hold to a healthy lifestyle during the holidays, I could do it anywhere/anytime. This year is a little bit different since the Holidays back in Maine we were just surrounded by friends while this year we will be surrounded by a lot of family. This is a whole new experience that I am really excited for since I never came from a big family. Normally it was just me and my parents once my brother and sister moved away. I feel like the holidays become even more magical the more people you are surrounded with (especially with kids around! I am so pumped for Christmas).

Even with all the temptations to be expected this week, my goal is to lose just 1 pound by Sunday. I am starting the week at 202 (cringe) and as much as I would love to get to 200 or lower, I definitely want to be realistic and not set myself up for disappointment. 1 pound is do-able.

Unfortunately, I only have one half hour session with my personal trainer the first half of this week instead of our normal two. I guess it’s only fair that he go home for the Holiday, I suppose! The good news is we are then having a work out session on Saturday so hopefully that will kick my butt in gear for Sunday’s weigh-in. I still plan on going to the gym Wednesday and Friday, though and definitely want to get as much pony time as I can this week! And hopefully with blogging, it will help keep me accountable.

What about you readers? Do you have any goals for this week? Or are you just hoping to make it through without consuming the entire pumpkin pie? Because, honestly, that’s a good one.

I will just leave this here...

I will just leave this here…


A Year of A Lot of Change…Help Me Get Back on Track


2014 became a year of incredible, scary, and exciting change. My husband and I decided fairly quickly to actually pack up our life in Maine and move to the wonderful state of Colorado where most of his family is located. We lucked out and were actually able to buy our first home — which had 19 offers on it and was only on the market for 2 days. Crazy! All in the time span of a month. I felt like this was a pretty clear sign that this move was meant to happen. Doors were opening wide without much more than a tap.

The drive out here was definitely a bonding experience with three cats in the back of our Escape and a trailer filled with just the basics. We lucked out and hardly ran into any traffic. The only part I feared with Gary, IN and Chicago. Any time you enter a state and they tell you how many people have died from traffic accidents in the year… well it does not leave you with happy, pleasant feelings that’s for sure. We also hit this craziness after we had already been driving for over 15 hours. The cats were yowling in the back. People were flying by us. The roads were horribly marked. It’s just an experience I wish to never repeat.


After 4 days of driving, we finally arrived. To our home.

I am so in love with this place... slowly but surely we have been making it more homey.

I am so in love with this place… slowly but surely we have been making it more homey.

Life in Colorado has been absolutely amazing! Within just a few weeks, I landed an awesome job working with a Dog Training Company! Unfortunately it is a desk job for the most part, but I really enjoy talking with clients, meeting dogs, and getting our name out there! I have been overwhelmed by the variety of restaurants and things to do. Over the summer, I went hiking and saw some of the most breathtaking places — including this wonderful Blue Lake!

I have never personally seen water that gorgeous before!

I have never personally seen water that gorgeous before!

One thing that took a back seat with all these changes is my health. I have definitely been splurging every chance I get instead of working on moderation. I have been active — even joined a gym and got a personal trainer! The only problem has been my focus. After all is said and done, I gained 20 pounds this year, and I feel every single one of them. My biggest wake up call was after 20 personal training sessions and going to the gym at least 3x a week, I had not lost ANYTHING. It is true what they say. You can not outwork a bad diet. My attitude needed to change.

This was my first week seriously sitting down and evaluating everything. I focused on what I was eating, and not just going with what was easy and what I was craving (which was never anything good!) I know I picked a great time to want to get control of my eating the one time of year people are all about the food (Thanksgiving, Christmas Cookies, Junk Food…) but it was just such a slap in the face to not have any change happen with my work outs. Even though I am definitely stronger… I didn’t even lose inches. Yikes!

Lately, I have been going back to my old roots and looking for inspiration with other weight loss blogs. I love reading about other people’s triumphs and struggles when it comes to battling weight. It was what focused me before and I was hoping this time would be no different. The more I read, though, the more I missed my blog. It was such a nice thing to look forward to every day. Coming up with goals, writing about those goals, and being surrounded by people who appreciated and could share in my joy.

I hope it isn’t too late. You can find it in your hearts to forgive me for being gone for so long. Here’s to ending the year strong and starting 2015 even stronger. Who’s with me?